Stop, Don't Stop Read online

  The Black Book

  [DIARY OF A TEENAGE STUD],

  VOL. II:

  Stop, Don’t Stop

  JONAH BLACK

  Contents

  Oct. 19, 3:35 P.M.

  Sophie puts her hand on my cheek and says, “Jonah? Are you awake?”

  Oct. 20, 10:30 A.M.

  Good news! The doctor says I can go home soon, like maybe tomorrow.

  (Still Oct. 20, 4:45 P.M.)

  I nodded off this afternoon, and when I woke up a girl was...

  Oct. 21

  Thorne was here this morning. Dr. Sheldon said...

  (Still Oct. 21, time unknown)

  It must be the middle of the night. I have a roommate here in the hospital now...

  Oct. 22, 7 A.M. (maybe)

  Okay, so I realize my last entry made no sense...

  (Still Oct. 22, a little later)

  Okay, so I just got off the phone with Posie. It was great to hear her voice.

  Oct. 23

  I’m home. Honey picked me up in her Jeep and drove me back to the house...

  America Online Instant Message from Northgirl999, 10-23, 5:35 p.m.

  Oct. 24, 8:15 A.M.

  I’m sitting in homeroom and I’m the first person here. Even Miss von Esse...

  Oct. 25, 5:45 P.M.

  Today after classes Thorne and Posie and I sat in the bleachers in the natatorium...

  (Still Oct. 25, 8:15 P.M.)

  Okay, so I’m doing homework and slowly eating this whole can of Pringles.

  (Still Oct. 25, 9:45 P.M.)

  This is weird. I called Mom at her hotel room, in Atlanta, where apparently...

  (Still Oct. 25, 10 P.M.)

  So I just had this amazing experience. Actually, amazing...

  Oct. 26, 3:31 P.M.

  Today something pretty nice happened. After school I was doing my delivery...

  (Still Oct. 26, 11 P.M.)

  I’ve done my homework, and it’s strangely quiet in our house.

  Oct. 27, 4:45 P.M.

  Today I saw something that made me so mad I only had two choices.

  Oct. 29, 8:08 A.M.

  I got a flat tire on the way into school today. Flat tires suck.

  (Still Oct. 29, 10:25 P.M.)

  I had this moment of truth or something with Dr. LaRue...

  Oct. 30, 1:22 P.M.)

  I’m in English class trying to pay attention while Mr. Clyde talks...

  (Still Oct. 30, 4:00 P.M.)

  After homeroom this morning, Cecily came up to me and said...

  (Still Oct. 30, even later)

  Now it’s later, and it’s been a strange night. I got back home...

  Oct. 31, 5:15 P.M.

  Halloween. It doesn’t really feel like Halloween, though, because...

  Nov. 1, 9 P.M.

  Just got off the phone with Mom, who’s in Baltimore.

  (Still Nov. 1, 11:34 P.M.)

  Oh, man. I think I just did the meanest thing I’ve ever done.

  Nov. 2, 5:24 P.M.

  So now I’m just lying here around the house feeling depressed.

  Nov. 3, 12 noon

  Here we are on November the third. I know the first of November is...

  Nov. 5, 7:45 A.M.

  I’m getting a ride into school with Honey this morning. I’m all dressed...

  (Still Nov. 5, 11:45 A.M.)

  Study hall. I’m sitting across from this very tiny girl with long brown hair.

  (Still Nov. 5, P.M.)

  At the end of German class today Miss von Esse said...

  (Still Nov. 5, 5:33 P.M.)

  Now I’m at First Amendment Pizza,

  waiting for my delivery shift to end.

  Nov. 6, 4:30 P.M.

  The day after an unbelievable night. I think my life has been changed forever...

  Nov. 7, 3:15 P.M.

  I’m in Miss Tenuda’s class and we are stranded in the most boring part...

  Nov. 8, 5:15 P.M.

  Okay, so it’s just me and a can of Pringles again. This time they’re barbecue...

  Nov. 9, 4:15 P.M.

  This is just a short little thing but I feel like writing about it anyway.

  America Online Instant Message from Northgirl999, 11-9, 9:47 p.m.:

  (Still Nov. 9, 11:45 P.M.)

  I biked over to Posie’s house today and she came to the door and said...

  Nov. 10, 11 P.M.

  I’m about to go to bed. I’m drinking chocolate milk...

  Nov. 12, 5:15 P.M.

  So I saw Dr. LaRue today and it was amazing. All I did was talk about Posie.

  (Still Nov. 12, later)

  When I got home, Posie was waiting for me. We sat on my bed...

  Nov. 13, 2:25 P.M.

  I’m sitting here in Miss von Esse’s class. Miss Tenuda’s class was canceled...

  Nov. 15, 6:35 P.M.

  Posie sent off her college applications yesterday: University of Florida...

  Nov. 16, 3:15 P.M.

  This totally weird thing happened today after school when...

  America Online Mail Center To:

  JBlack94710

  Nov. 17, 7:30 P.M.

  I’ve got a lot to write about tonight.

  I was on my way home...

  Nov. 18, 8 P.M.

  Posie was competing in the Pompano Triple-A Meet...

  Nov. 19, 4:30 P.M.

  When I got home from school today, I saw the weirdest thing.

  America Online Instant Message

  FROM NORTHGIRL999, 11-19, 7:04 P.M.

  Nov. 20, 3:35 P.M.

  Today was kind of a momentous day, for a couple of reasons.

  Nov. 21, 8 P.M.

  The end of a pretty amazing day. Today we only had a half a day...

  (Still Nov. 21, later)

  When I got home, the VW Beetle was parked in front of the house again.

  Nov. 22, Thanksgiving, 6 P.M.

  There’s a song that we used to sing on Thanksgiving when we were kids...

  About the Author

  Credits

  Copyright

  About the Publisher

  Stop, Don’t Stop

  Nov. 10, 11 P.M.

  I’m about to go to bed. I’m drinking chocolate milk, which pretty much makes me an eight-year-old Cub Scout, but what can I tell you. I love to drink chocolate milk, and I love making it. I like putting the milk in first, which of course has to be real whole milk, not the gross skim milk Mom and Honey drink. Then I put in a spoon and I get the milk spinning around and around. When it’s spinning good and fast I drizzle in the Bosco and watch the milk change color. It starts off white like snow then gets dirty, then beige, then finally it gets good and chocolaty and the question then is just how chocolaty can you get it before it’ll taste disgusting? I mean, if it’s too thin that’s pretty bad, but if it’s too chocolaty that’s worse. You have to wait for it to stop spinning before you drink it. If you don’t, you bruise the Bosco. It is kind of a science, I guess.

  Most girls don’t drink milk, I’ve noticed. I think they think it makes them fat. It’s a shame girls can’t enjoy food. It’s like every time they eat something they have to work it into this complex matrix of How Much They’ve Exercised and How Many Calories This Has and all that junk. It’s a shame. Especially since a milk mustache is like the sexiest thing in the universe. Not the ones in the “Got Milk” ad campaign, which always look like clumpy Elmer’s Glue. Posie had this milk mustache the other day that was ridiculous, it was so sexy.

  Anyway, all I’m saying is it’s a shame more girls don’t drink milk. It’s good for you.

  Nov. 12, 5:15 P.M.

  So I saw Dr. LaRue today and it was amazing. All I did was talk about Posie. I spent most of the s
ession telling him about our night out on the water. This was my favorite meeting with him so far. It was like reliving the whole night with her. I went over every single detail.

  After that, we talked a little bit about Thorne. But I managed to get him back on the subject of Posie after a few minutes. I told him about almost sleeping with her that last time and how I saw that picture of the racehorse on Posie’s wall and how it reminded me of Sophie.

  And Dr. LaRue said, “Well, what about Sophie?”

  “What about her?” I said.

  “Do you still love her?” he said.

  “That’s a different kind of love,” I said.

  “How is it different?” Dr. La Rue said.

  “With Sophie, it was the love of an idea, of being in love with someone who you’re making this like, psychic bridge to, someone who’s in trouble that you know you can save. It’s like this perfect love, the love you have for music or the way a glass of ice water tastes on a hot day,” I tried to explain.

  “And how is that different from the way you feel about Posie?” Dr. LaRue asked me.

  “Posie? Well, Posie’s my friend. I’ve known her forever. With Posie it’s like the way you love an old shirt that you’ve had so long it fits you perfectly because it knows the way your body goes,” I said.

  “You’re saying Posie is like an old shirt?” Dr. LaRue laughed.

  “I don’t mean it that way. I mean I don’t have to think about Posie and me fitting together; we just do.”

  “Which is the better love, Jonah?”

  “Better?”

  “Yes. You’ve said you have this love for the one girl, which is like an ideal, a perfect dream. And then you have this love for another girl, which is very tangible and familiar. I was wondering which love you think is the better kind,” he said.

  “I don’t think you can compare the two,” I said. “They’re completely different.”

  “Is it the same emotion you feel, for both of them?” he said.

  I wasn’t sure where he was going with that. I mean I’d just finished telling him how different they were.

  “No,” I said, frowning. “I guess it’s similar, in some ways—”

  “But would you say you are in love with both of these girls?” he said.

  “In love with both of them—I mean, yeah. Sort of,” I answered, confused.

  “Well, this is what strikes me as interesting, Jonah. Don’t you see it as problematic that you’re in love with two people at once?” he said.

  “Yeah, but I just told you, it’s different,” I said.

  “I understand that. But doesn’t what you feel for Sophie somehow affect how you feel about Posie?” he said.

  “I don’t know. I mean, maybe,” I stumbled.

  “What I’m asking you, Jonah, is this. Whatever it was you felt about Sophie. Whatever it was that happened. What I want to know is, is it over?” Dr. LaRue said.

  I was just about to tell him of course it’s over, don’t be stupid, but at that second I thought about her big house in Maine and I can see Sophie’s horse walking along the sand by the ocean, but there is no one on it. I’m trying to imagine Sophie riding the horse, but I can’t picture her. All I can see is Posie, her long, tan legs and her sunny face. And suddenly I have this terrible feeling that Sophie has disappeared. Where did she go?

  I didn’t answer Dr. LaRue’s question. He looked at his watch and said, “Time’s up.”

  (Still Nov. 12, later)

  When I got home, Posie was waiting for me. We sat on my bed and started to fool around, but we didn’t get very far because Honey and Smacky were sitting out by the pool just outside the sliding glass door to my room, and my mother was out in the hallway doing yoga. Every few minutes she’d let out this long moan that is her mantra or something, and sounds like “vootie.”

  I got up and pulled the curtains on the glass door.

  “You know, I think your sister and Smacky Platte are just about the weirdest couple in the universe,” Posie said.

  I nodded in complete agreement. “I think it’s because he’s the only one who isn’t intimidated by her,” I said.

  “Do you think he knows how smart she is, and he just doesn’t care?” Posie asked me.

  “No. I think he’s just totally stupid,” I said.

  We both started laughing and then Mom knocked on the door. I opened it to find her wearing a brown unitard and holding a tray of cookies and milk.

  How come our moms keep bringing us cookies all the time? Are they like, trying to keep us from having sex?

  “Who likes Fudge Town?” Mom said, beaming happily at us. She was all mellowed out from her yoga.

  We ate some cookies and then Posie had to head home. Honey and Smacky took off in Honey’s Jeep, too, so it was just Mom and me in the house. After a while Mom came in to get the platter back and she sat on the edge of my bed. She was kind of glowing, like she was happy all over. I wondered if she was taking something.

  “Mom?” I said. “Are you all right?”

  “Oh, I am,” Mom said. “I’m as happy as I’ve ever been.”

  “I’m glad. How come you’re so happy?” I asked her.

  “I’m happy about our family,” she said. “I’m happy about my career. I’m happy about the way love can change people’s lives.”

  “Mom,” I said, totally embarrassed.

  “Bup, bup, bup,” Mom said, holding out her hand. “It’s a truth we have to get comfortable with. Love has a transforming power. It changes us deep inside and makes us better people. Be glad for the changes love is making in our lives.”

  “Okay, Mom,” I said, and I reached over and hugged her. It was corny, but I meant it. I knew what she meant.

  Then her cell phone started ringing, and she stood up and checked her caller ID. “I have to take this,” she said, and left the room.

  As she went down the hall I heard her cooing into the phone. I don’t think she was talking about love transforming my life or Honey’s life. I think she was talking about herself. Mom has a boyfriend, I’m sure of it.

  Nov. 13, 2:25 P.M.

  I’m sitting here in Miss von Esse’s class. Miss Tenuda’s class was canceled because she’s been absent for a few days. There’s a rumor that she went crazy and quit her job and we’re going to get a new teacher. It’s pretty strange, the idea of your teacher losing her mind, although if I had to teach me I’d probably go crazy, too. I feel sorry for Miss Tenuda, though. I always liked her.

  Miss von Esse is wearing a headband today and there’s this one lock of hair that has fallen out of the headband and it’s hanging around her face like one of those little mouthpieces that the telemarketers on TV always wear. Can I take your order, please? I can’t figure out if she knows it’s there and she’s deliberately ignoring it, or if she’s just oblivious. I can’t imagine she’d be unaware of it because it keeps moving every time she does, which is a lot because Miss von Esse kind of dances while she teaches. We’re learning the subjunctive case, which is a big deal in German because there are two different ways of saying it. It’s like the Eskimos having ten different words for snow, or Honey having a hundred different names for me. The subjunctive is the way you talk when you’re discussing things that aren’t necessarily real right now, but they might be sooner or later. Like when you say If one thing, Then some other thing.

  Actually, it’s a pretty handy way of talking.

  Like, If my neck continues to feel better, Then Mr. Davis might let me swim in the diving meet against Ely High. Or, If I get to dive in the meet, Then I will really make a fool of myself because I haven’t even been in the water in like a month. Or, If Watches Boys Dive comes back from wherever she’s been, Then I will feel glad and maybe try to show off some more for her.

  Or, If I don’t talk to Thorne pretty soon, Then maybe I’m never going to be friends with him again. Or, If Thorne were a normal person, Then I could be mad at him for screwing around with Luna behind Posie’s back. But he’s not so I c
an’t. Or, If Thorne hadn’t lied to me about being so rich, Then he wouldn’t have been all embarrassed when I saw him working on the Scrod.

  Miss von Esse hasn’t said anything to me since I screwed up the German test. I got a C­ on it, by the way. She just handed the test back and sighed. I think the worst feeling in the world is when you know you’ve disappointed someone.

  Nov. 15, 6:35 P.M.

  Posie sent off her college applications yesterday: University of Florida, University of Hawaii, University of California at Santa Cruz, Bowdoin, Wooster, and Kenyon. The three universities are basically recruiting her for surfing. The power of the Wahine! But Bowdoin, Wooster, and Kenyon don’t even have an ocean, I don’t think. If she decides to go to one of those, it’s so she can become a student, like a real college girl. It’s hard to imagine, but then again, Posie’s smart. I mean, she’s no Honor Elspeth Black, but she’s smart.

  It’s kind of hard to watch the seniors all applying to college. I mean, I should be applying to college now, but I’m not. I’m still in eleventh grade studying James Buchanan, the bachelor president, who I happen to know went to Dickinson College, in Pennsylvania. How do I know this? Miss Tenuda told us, just before she flipped out. Actually, Miss Tenuda’s flipping out is something I should have written about more. I mean, we were stuck on Zachary Taylor and Millard Fillmore and James Buchanan and Franklin Pierce for what seemed like all of October and half of November, but I don’t think that means she was crazy like everyone is saying. Maybe she just wanted to avoid the Civil War. I can sympathize with that.

  Anyway, now she’s gone, and we have this new history teacher, Mr. Sadoff, and he’s like some beatnik out of the 1950s. He’s tall, with shaggy red hair and round John Lennon glasses, which he probably thinks is some kind of statement. He also has a goatee. Anyway, Mr. Sadoff immediately plunged us into the Civil War and he’s making it pretty interesting, except that I already went through Gettysburg and Appomattox last year.

  It’s actually starting to get a little nippy in Florida, which is funny because in Pennsylvania right now the leaves are off the trees and everyone is walking around in down coats. Here it’s just jean jackets and windbreakers, but it still feels like the year is coming to an end. Thanksgiving is next week, and I have to say I’m looking forward to it. Posie is coming over to our house for dinner, and I am totally psyched. I’m thinking of inviting Thorne and his parents, too, just to be nice.